When you asked me if I knew her and I said I did, I lied
Surely I'd have spoken truer had I said, instead, "I tried"
My companion and my helpmate, holy angel she has been
But I've seen her too at hell's gate, sweetly ushering me in
She was introduced as "Mamma" Daddy's dear devoted spouse
As I bowed into this drama in which they were playing house
I, of course, was Mamma's baby and the apple of her eye
All I needed Mamma gave me, all I had to do was cry
It was sweet the way she kissed me; held me softly to her breast
Offered wisdom to assist me, because Mamma knows what's best
Lucky new arrivals, groping, find a woman always there
Sacrificing, praying, hoping, giving tender loving care
It was on her love I counted and with her I could consult
For direction as I mounted the long ladder marked "adult"
It was Mamma who was woman first, then aunts and grandma's,too
Over half this race called human; every sister that I knew
And the little friends and neighbors with the ribbons and the curls
Who bestow those special favors that can only come from girls
Tender objects of affection and custodians of joys
That require a man's protection and attention from the boys
Woman also was a scolder and a gossip and a nag
Who quite often growing older hopped into a shopping bag
Full of massive contradictions with a mind quite quick to change
With her woman's intuition and a logic I've found strange
She awoke my primal urging and provoked it into lust
That sent all the juices surging through my system with great thrust
She becomes life's main attraction as she put on me a hex
Born of biologic action, centered deep within her sex
And I grew up to discover all the holy angel charms
She could lay upon a lover in the heaven of her arms
She could make herself receptive to my pressures and my pleas
And then prove to be deceptive and inclined to be a tease
She could listen to the lying, silly sentences I said
In my desperation trying to seduce her into bed
And then seeming to surrender, she could slyly take command
Through some genius in her gender I will never understand
For the fact is, my successes in predicting what she'd do
Have been largely second-guesses, plus a lucky hunch or two
I've been bested by her brilliance, by her talent, by her tact
She's shown strength and great resilience; often courage that I lacked
She has bowed and plowed and planted helped to haul the heavy load
As she persevered and panted down an often lonesome road
She has conquered and confused me; found me easy to outsmart
And 'twas she who introduced me to my lonesome broken heart
By the blues she's had me haunted, hung up, unsatisfied
With my love refused, unwanted, injured ego, wounded pride
Ahh, but if she's done me dirty, sure I've dealt her much the same
Been unfaithful, false and flirty, hard to hold and tough to tame
Phony as a wooden nickel, I've been frequently unkind
Undependable and fickle, often difficult to find
But she's found me; made me chase her; had me horny, hot to go
Turned me to a money waster, blowing my good hard-earned dough
Giving kisses in profusion, she's played economic games
That amount to prostitution although known by different names
And manipulating muscles cradled coyly in the crotch
She has worked some money hustles that were wonderful to watch
She has had me, saint and sinner, mixed up in all sorts of deals
Just to be once more within her and to know how good that feels
She has brought me peace and comfort; taught me how to be serene
But when she's felt moved to some sort of revenge she's proven mean
And this fascinating mixture of serenity and strife
Is the most important fixture in the structure of my life
I can buddy with a fellow and his company is fine
But a woman who is mellow makes companionship divine
When she reappeared as mother, the receiver of my seed
We were loving one another to fulfill our common need
Both a party to the sharing of the suffering and fun
In the beauty of her bearing me a daughter and a son
And she came again as daughter, daddy's darling angel child
Full of charms her nature taught her by which I could be beguiled
Wrapped around her little finger, woman often has inspired
Me to do my best to bring her anything her heart desired
Because images projected of a man who's strong and wise
Mean their most when they're reflected in the mirror of her eyes
And confirmed by her devotions, to be crowned by her caress
Makes the most of my emotions though I readily confess
When you asked me if I knew her and I said I did, I lied
Surely I've have spoken truer had I said, instead, "I tried"